Post Boston: "Look for the Helpers"

 

Its probably one of the few pitfalls to being well-traveled is when tragedy strikes, odds are you know someone that's there.  I suppose its also true for many people as our families become more scattered.  Its probably also true for those who attended a large college or university as they attract students from everywhere.  Since most often terrorism targets major cities and most families have at least one member of the family, brother or sister, son or daughter, cousin, roommate, teammate, or friend probably living there, we all worry about our loved ones.

I was afraid for a couple of guys who I ran on a track team with might have been running the Boston Marathon Monday.  Another friend from college had just moved to Boston and the church he is pastoring, we found out, is just a 5 minute walk from the finish line.  All are safe.

When 9/11 happened a wonderful guy who'd just married one of my favorite cousins (no rankings today) watched the towers right out his office window.  Dear friends of the family were working in the Pentagon at the same time.

I've had the odd distinction of listening to, praying with, and trying to encourage people who were at Columbine High School, 9/11, and Virginia Tech.  Sadly... very sadly, out of the 100s of thoughts that scattered through my brain after Newtown one was, "I'm glad it finally happened far from me."

Its totally normal to ask a lot of big questions after these things:

• Why does this happen?
• What's the right response?  To kill?  To imprison?  To even do nothing?
• Where was God?
• Why God?
• What would I have done?
• Will I ever feel normal again?

With Virginia Tech and Columbine in the rear view mirror I felt truly awkward when moving to the Bay Area and a similar event nearly happened.  Not long after moving to the area full time, and while still connecting with a student getting over the grief of being a student at VA Tech during the massacre, another school tragedy almost happened.

At Hillsdale High School, maybe a few miles away, and where a couple of our students now go, a student walked in with a sword, chainsaw, and pipe bombs strapped to his chest.  He let at least one of the bombs off and then a teacher tackled him to the ground preventing any further chaos from occurring.

I actually wondered if I was cursed.  That wherever I moved there'd be some sort of school tragedy happening.

Dealing with the tragedies of my own life and listening to friends work through their own, the cynic always seems to pop its head.  People try to encourage you but it just doesn't work.  The Bible verses, the pithy sayings, the pats on the back, you just imagine their doing it simply because they figure you're hurting.  I mean, it probably helps them so why not?  You're polite, say, "Thank you," and move along.

I've always felt like I needed something tangible.  Something I can see just as much I could see the tragedy in front of me.  Something that was more real than an optimistic phrase or verse I'm supposed to believe in.  I want something easy to believe in because its not a very easy time.  Mr. Rogers hits it right on the head.  Look at the people helping.

So over the past couple days I've been trying to turn the news off when its all about reports of suffering and destruction.  Don't get me wrong, its important to be fully informed and understanding, but 4-6 hours a day might be overdoing it.  For a news junkie like myself its not easy to turn it off.  But I start hearing Jack Johnson sing, "Why don't the newscasters cry when the read about people who die?" and begin to wonder the same thing.

THEN I catch the light in the darkness and there's a story about one of the helpers and I'm glued.  They have courage, compassion, and don't simply see the blood and tears as a reason to protect themselves, they see it as a reason to fix what's broken.

Our world sometimes feels like a broken place.  It gets overwhelming at times, especially when you affected by one of these types of tragedies.  But these people help me remember, there is a lot of fixing going on.

Look at all those people helping:

Carlos Arredondo puts a tourniquet on a man after he loses both legs, one with an American flag

Dr. Vivek Shah, after just completing the grueling 26.2 mile course jumped into help the hurting despite obvious fatigue and/or possible dehydration of his own.

Dr. Allan Panter, an ER doctor, was fortunately and unfortunately at the right place at the right time waiting waiting for his wife at the finish line.

Emily Clark, a local college student, after being told her race was over at mile 25 ran to the hospital to donate blood.  Donate blood after running that much!

People literally opening up their homes via social media and Google Docs to those who need a place.  Some hotels were evacuated and closed although their reservation list was full.

Joe Andruzzi, 3-time Super Bowl winner, Joe Andruzzi who has 3 NYFD brothers who responded to the 9/11 attacks, Joe Andruzzi who was there for his charity work, carries an injured woman to safety. 

Tom Meagher, volunteer and finish line coordinator, actually running towards the blast to aid a fallen runner moments after it occurred.

The Huffington Post actually has a whole host of pictures (beware: many of them are very graphic) from the site.  But sincerely though, after taking some time to breathe in Mr. Rogers words I didn't see as much hurt and suffering.  I saw tons of people helping.

On Homosexuality (part 2)

I'll go ahead and admit that my opinion has evolved over time.  Long ago I looked at the list of Bible verses given to me while also concluding that science tells us people are definitely born with a certain orientation, homo, bi, or hetero.  But it also seemed there is a long running theme through Scripture that condemned the behavior.  I suppose this all made sense by comparing homosexual orientation to alcoholism, abuse, OCD, soft spokeness, pride, or even walking pigeon toed.  Simply because God had born us with certain natures doesn't necessarily mean that we should be acting out on them, or so I thought at the time.

sinner...

So in my mind at the time I accepted that yes, God created our friends in the LGBT community as they are.  But I suppose I also expected us to attempt to overcome any other sort of "sinful" nature we were born with.  This is sort of where I began my opinions on homosexuality.

As a sort of side note it really bothers me that we place people into bubbles and dare not try to even step into their world, or even look at it for that matter.  At the time I held these beliefs I counseled youth who struggled with their sexuality, how to talk about it with their family and friends, was this or that okay, what should they do, is God angry at them?  Something I look back on with great pride is every single one of those students, as far as I know, still retains a positive view of Jesus Christ and the church (in general) and has grown comfortable in their sexuality... well as much as the society around them allows them to feel.

I suppose many of us expect that if you send a gay boy to a youth pastor that thinks marriage equality is wrong that the first words out of said youth pastor's mouth when talking to the boy is, "Devil child!  You know God hates you."  Its as if we think conservatives have no tact.  Some, sad to report, actually do and know how to keep their opinion to themselves for the sake of greater goods like mental and spiritual health.

And some people I guess expect that our liberal youth pastors would parade our effeminate male youth and tough, short-haired female youth around like trophies.  I suppose we think that if a family that was conservative sent their child to the liberal youth pastor the first thing on the agenda would be a thorough brainwashing on progressive politics.  You know, some liberal youth pastors also know how to keep their opinions to themselves for the sake of someone's mental and spiritual health.

In any case, there's really no need to go line by line through verse and verse of the Bible that either condemns or supports homosexuality.  A thorough double dip (Google and Wikipedia) should take care of that.  Besides the debate of today is marriage equality a sort of separate point.

in this case George, a double dip is perfectly acceptable

It was a few years ago that someone I really admire, Bruce Reyes-Chow, wrote a truly fabulous piece about civil unions, the spirituality of marriage and what its like being an apparent agent of the state.  You can read it here.

First, on the separation of church and state is that I could even grant you that the founding fathers of the US didn't necessarily intend there to be a "wall" put up between them (although I humbly disagree).  Surely they could've never imagined the world we live in today where a church I worked at shared a small street with a Mormon Temple (not invented yet) and a Buddhist Temple (mostly unknown at the time).  But even if they didn't intend it, it doesn't matter, its a good idea!

Why would anyone want the government and church together?  Are you crazy?  Can you imagine the amount of lunacy and scandals that we'd have to deal with then?  Does the church really want to take responsibility for all the ridiculousness that comes out of Washington?  And to those of us who have had to deal with church or denominational politics, do we really think that these people are going to get anything positive done in Washington?

So yes, give me separation of church and state.  If the morality of America is in decline its not the fault of the government.  Its the church's fault for not discipling the people on its shores.  So next time someone complains to you about how America is headed to hell in a handbasket ask them when the last time they took a handbasket of something other than their mouth to someone in need.  :-)

But this all raises some implications about governments role in marriage.  Marriage is a holy act.  Its a sacrament in nearly every religion.  So why does the irreligious government feel the need to get involved?  I read one blogger put it quite well, "Why should I spend time in prayer and meditation over a service, spiritually counseling a couple on marriage, we worship through song and exchanging symbols of love, I pronounce them man and wife... but by the authority given of me by the state of so and so?"  Agreed!  I thought my church or religious body gave me that authority to perform religious acts not the state of wherever.

yes, this is an "agent of the state"

Of course we know it has to do with good policy making.  Tax incentives to married couples so more people will want to get married, then they'll be more likely to have children, then we'll have a larger workforce which means a larger economy... or so the thinking goes.

But here's the deal.  I'm a Christian before I'm an American.  So simply put I care about Jesus' teachings, the Biblical texts, and other spiritual acts acts such as prayer, mentorship, etc to guide my life.

To that end I agree with Bruce.  Government should simply get out of the marriage business.  Everyone gets a civil union including my wife and I.  Our friends, family, and faith community see us as married.  That's enough.  The state doesn't regulate Communion or Baptisms nor should it.  Then get out of this one also.  That's right Roger Waters, "another brick in the "wall!"

Realistically speaking, unless there is a Hail Mary by the Supreme Court that won't happen.  If it does it will take decades.  So in the meantime we're still left with considering fair and equal practices under the law and of course, "the pursuit of happiness."  For those reasons alone I feel as though its time for us to permit same-sex couples to wed. 

Dang you TJ and your "life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness."  "Pursuit?"  Really?

There have been compelling religious and philosophical arguments made against it but in the end they all simply bump up against our greater conscience.  It oftentimes takes too great of mental gymnastics to make these points:

• Its a threat to heterosexual marriage.
• Am I going to suddenly want to leave my wife and find a man?  Is she going to leave for a better woman?
• This would cause a cultural acceptability that forces schools and such to teach my children that it is an okay behavior.
• And there aren't any current behaviors that our society pushes on children that we find disagreement with?
• Its not natural since you cannot produce children.
• Science and adoption has solved this.  Beyond that how many married couples, some not by choice, remain childless?  And singles?
• Children need a male and female at home.
• Yes, because with our divorce rate we have done so well at this.
• Churches will be forced to marry against their will
• To this day I have yet to meet anyone who had to marry anyone against their will.
• To add, this is possibly the one thing that holds the most water... but not nearly enough.

Needless to say, any of these points can be argued in circles for days given the right group of stubborn nincompoops.  It is merely to point out that at that moment that the point is made that a rebuttal pops into focus within moments and little to no deep thought shows its inherent weakness.  We may "stand on principle" but we all have to accept that we can take a brief look at history and see lots of smart people standing on principles that became garbage.

So one day I hope to marry some of my LGBT friends.  I hope to, without fear of admonishment, offer them the same (or hopefully improved) marriage counseling we have others.  I hope to see our friends in the pews of our churches again worshipping without fear of consternation.  If we still believe them sinners then join the crowd.  There is a whole church of them surrounding you.

To tell you the truth there are 1000s of people who know more about the Bible and God than I do.  Some of them agree and some disagree with me.  That has never been a reason to not engage the debate.  Hopefully, prayerfully, we can all, in good conscience and humble hearts expect that the person in front of us, though disagreeing, does so understanding that they also don't have the answer to all of life's questions either.

Enter the cries, "Thank you!" and "Heretic!"  We love you all. 

Things I think about #2:  Why can't Apple, Google, and Microsoft just get along so

 everything will sync properly?

Smacking Cheesecake #4:  A restaurant that "runs out" of specials means one thing, the specials are the junk they're trying to get rid of before its so rank you can tell.

On Homosexuality

Thought to myself, why not?  Why not throw my opinions to the wind and dive head long into a controversial topic for the church in today's world?  I mean, of course I'll be the first to humbly accept the honor that I will be the one to end the debate.  That's what most of us are trying to do with each tweet, Facebook post, or conversation.  Thirty seconds of my ranting (mostly plagiarized by some loud-mouthed talking head on TV) and you're opinion will be firmly planted in my camp.  Boom.  Done.  ...and yes I wrote this on Friday afternoon and not Monday morning because research shows you'll be less likely to read it and I'll be less likely to get in trouble for it by somebody. 

 

In my office there is a stack of papers I had written in college.  In a folder there are a few writings all the way back to high school.  Every few years or so I peruse through them and the old writings that are saved on my computer.  It is always fascinating to see how my opinions wonder from here to there, sometimes non-existant, and come back around to another place.  Its really the primary reason I blog these days.  Its simply a place to throw out some thoughts and allow others to enjoy them if they so please.

Another reason is I somehow became involved in church leadership long ago.  Having officiated weddings, funerals, baptisms, and communion while seeing the title "pastor" put by my name with some other qualifier (youth, associate, student, etc.) I am not an idiot that for us pastor types, and teachers, and parents, and managers, and others, people do care about our thoughts.  Generally that's because we keep them to ourselves.  Otherwise we wouldn't be in one of those positions because we'd had been canned.

I don't think most of us change our opinions because of what one of the aforementioned folks or others said about the topic but I think that in great part if they say what you're thinking but afraid to admit to others, they make it okay and give you peace for feeling the way you do.  President Obama may not have shifted an opinion one way or the other but he did make it easier for those who feel as he does to speak openly.  Of course he also made others so angry they would just as well stomp on bunnies as hear his opinion.

It was several years ago that I had one of those moments.  A group of us youth workers were sitting at dinner after some weekend or week-long event.  We were in the philosophically safe confines of being all white, heterosexual, males, wearing cargo shirts, tight shirts for optimal pudgy appeal, with goatees.  As we have the tendency to do when its just us youth workers in a safe place we were throwing around ideas about controversial topics.  Being the one who is generally too moderate for everyone I was customarily quiet, just asking questions.

Then one of the guys says the obvious, "you can be Christian and be gay."  Nobody hit him with the bun of their burger so it felt safe for me to agree.  Naturally because we were a church going crew, and studied theology at that, the Bible came into the discussion.  All the texts most church folk are familiar with, Levitical Laws from the Old Testament, Romans chapter 1, yada yada yada.  Of course nobody would be surprised that I would be the one bringing up Luke 17 (just to be funny), Matthew 5 while also comparing it all to Paul and Peter's seeming acceptance of slavery.  It just seemed like the thing to do.

Do we take the whole Bible literally or none of it?  Its always seemed like that is the question that needs to be asked.  I've never understood how we pick and choose which ones to be literal about and which ones we don't.  And of course the Bible matters to me on this subject and even what I should have as a mid-day snack.  It is a holy text that informs who I am.

To be continued tomorrow...

Anniversary Tip #1: Find someone great (Jenn) to go somewhere great (Yosemite)

Random Thought on North Korea: I just really hope there 

are legitimate plans on what to do if they were to actually launch a missile.

Smacking Cheesecake #2: They are planning on opening 12 new locations

 in Latin America.  Just say no South America!  Cling to your 

cebiches and pork offerings!  Just say no to nonfresh C level 

food at A level prices!