My Wife is Getting a New Phone, Naturally I'm Jealous

We have a contract with Verizon which means that every 2 years we get a Christmas-esque present, a new phone at a "discounted price."  Next month my lovely wife, Jenn, gets to pull the ribbons and tear open the box on a new smartphone.  She's currently eye-balling the Samsung Galaxy S4, although the Samsung Note 2 and Galaxy S3 are still in the running.  And just as I type this I can't help but think of how many people would be drooling over the screen just thinking about having such an incredible piece of technology.

Its so funny looking back on all this.  Less than 10 years ago I was phone-less.  Stuck in my ways of preserving a kind of machismo of "that's not how they built this country" and also trying to keep a sense of personal space I just hated the idea of someone calling anytime, anywhere and interrupting the very thing I sought to do without them.  There were 255 million cell phones in use at that time and everyone else was an AARP member or yours truly.  Can you tell that I was an introvert at one time?

Finally, I started to realize that if I was going to keep pace with the competition and stay in step with my colleagues and friends I would need to get a cell phone.  Funny thing is, naturally, back in 2006 or so I didn't buy a cell phone.  I bought a Verizon XV6700.  At the time it was one of the most advanced phones out there.  It had a web browser, email client, infrared beam (which i still miss), touch screen, apps (at the time still known as programs), it was incredible.  To tell you the truth it wasn't much different from the smartphones of today.  Going from no cell phone to this thing was basically my way of going straight to the high dive on the first day of swim lessons.

"Mr. Know-it-all"

A couple years ago I convinced my lovely wife to get a smartphone.  After all, living in the Bay Area, you're simply not hip if you're not playing Diamond Dash with friends while waiting at the bus stop.  Hek, you're not even hip if everyone in your entourage is not playing Diamond Dash with friends while waiting at the bus stop.

I didn't say anything about Diamond Dash to sell my wife on the idea of a smartphone though.  She is truly a professional woman and a marvel of surpassing goals in life.  People like her have no need for Diamond Dash.  We talked about the messaging capabilities, the mapping and GPS components, the web browsing, yada yada yada.  Unfortunately though, in our moments of low standards our bonding time consists of laying on separate portions of the couch while I read the news on my phone and she feeds Pou on her's.  Yes... this is what we've become.

But what we have to keep reminding ourselves is that if necessary, we can share our location with all our friends, offer commentary on their Facebook statuses, take a picture of our meal, and GPS our way home all with one device and not think twice about.  And when we go to bed instead of having to look each other in the eye we can simply text message each other how much we love each other.  After all, what can an emoticon say that you or I cannot?

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Smacking Cheesecake #9:  When travelling you can always do better

Vine for Android App:  This is what the world looks like to people with ADD

Best thing about Jenn #1:  He hair disintegrates into glitter when 

it falls from her head.

What's the Big Deal with Baptism Anyway?

My mother raised us in a Baptist home and against my own best intentions find myself fully immersed and in love with our little Baptist church of which I am on staff.  Oftentimes people ask me what Baptists believe, Presbyterians (since I'm officially on paper still one of those) believe, Catholics believe, yada yada yada.  Its always kind of difficult to explain in the way people would want it because there are Baptists who are all over the map.  The same is true for Presbyterians and Methodists and Anglicans, etc.  Everyone is all over the map.  Hek, even in our single, small church people are all over the map.  The main differences between these different branches of Christianity have to do with how their churches are governed.  But one thing is certainly true of Baptists... they love to baptize.

O sure we may not do as much baptizing as we used to but when we do look out!  Everybody is going to be all kinds of excited, especially the adorable grandmas and grandpas that keep these places running.  Sometimes the little devil inside me thinks, "We should take a mission trip to Zimbabwe.  If I can get some of my middle school friends to agree to be baptized the grandmas will happily pay for everyone else to go for free!"  [For the record I've never actually thought about doing that.]

This was just too easy a moment to insert a Book of Mormon plug.

But the fact that people do seek to entice others to be baptized as much as they do makes me wonder... why?  What's the big deal?  Its just some water, a few rehearsed lines by you and the pastor, and dry off.  Actually, there are many people who find it to be just as big a deal and are equally, if not more, cautious to encourage others to be baptized.

Would someone please explain to me what happens in that water?!

According to Peter the rituals of Baptism go all the way back to the Noahic flood.  The waters symbolized God's cleansing of sin and unrighteousness from earth in the flood.  Today the baptism waters symbolize God's cleansing of sin and unrighteousness from our personal lives.  Interestingly though, that's normally not mentioned when your baptized.  More significance is paid to the metaphor of Jesus Christ being buried then raised back to life.  While this might be a fascinating thing to point out maybe the point remains that many of us seem to miss... its a symbol.

Rituals carry such weight for people that cynics like myself don't always understand.  It feels like people sometimes pressure us to believe that if we don't partake in a certain symbol, and sometimes in a specific way, that we're second class and bound to suffer.  For some it isn't that we're baptized but how we're baptized and when we're baptized and under who's oversight and permission.  Another one of the New Testament writers, Paul, makes a point about this in his writings.  From what we can make of it there was a group of people who judged others based on their circumcision.  Much more painful than mere baptism you can imagine why new believers would have hesitated to include that ritual.  But Paul continued a running theme through Scripture that God is not impressed by our rituals but rather our hearts, sacrifices, love, and grace.

Then what's the point of it exactly?  Why go to the trouble of getting wet?  Well, normally they do give you a certificate or trophy or something to commemorate the occasion.  Okay, just kidding about the trophy.  I've never seen that.  But I have seen a baptism pool set inside a fire truck specially fitted with canons that shot confetti for when children were baptized.  Apparently they aren't doing that anymore.  Sad to see many children will be disappointed they won't be getting the same confetti and party sirens.

Said fire truck is stage right.  Yes, this actually happened.

Sometimes I wonder why God would provide us with these rituals.  Then I teach another class and realize that we all learn in different ways.  Many of us, maybe all of us, are experiential learners.  We learn by doing.  Thus, maybe the writers of the Bible were inspired by a tactile God, a God that wants us to experience spirituality and not just read about in books or hear about in sermons from people like me.

About a week ago I was seriously humbled to take part in the baptisms of two seniors, sisters, who felt compelled on their own to be baptized.  Because the idea came up entirely from them I was so interested in what brought them to that point.  These two older women are such sweethearts and talked about how they simply wanted to use that opportunity of being baptized to show God and others of their love for God and His Son Jesus Christ.  Our whole church, all ages, were so touched by them.

They didn't say much during the worship service, but it was in their nervous trembling backstage that I understood what this meant to them.  In many ways it was convicting to me.  Ever since the many trials of my college years I've had a bit of trouble opening my heart to that sort of excitement.  I understand why and don't blame myself for it (much) but I miss the days of getting so fired up about things like that.  Now its more like, "O, another baptism, that's kind of exciting.  When are we going to get to the real work of serving the poor?"

What kind of spirituality is that?  I pray for myself and others who have a "been there and done that" attitude.  Sometimes I wonder, if I only had a smidgen of the reverence and enthusiasm these two women had how much greater of a light would I be towards myself and others?

Things I think about  #3:  Does anyone else see the two wheels turning when 

they open this webpage?  What is that supposed to mean?

You know you're cool when #1:    You're listening to the FM jazz station and 

correctly name the musicians in the band before the dj.

Smacking Cheesecake #8:  Its 940pm (PST) and they still have adds up on 

Google telling you to make your Father's Day reservation.