What Does it Mean to be a Father? (18 month edition)

One day my friends and family might read this.  They'll have an idea about what I was thinking at the time and while personality does play a large factor in your parenting style, your ambitions as a parent play a large role as well.

I can remember vividly when Theo was born.  I'm standing in this sanitized white room with stainless steel everywhere trying to figure out what my purpose was with the baby.  My purpose with the mom was to encourage, support, bend her in half when asked, cut the cord, and generally just do what was asked.  But what do I do with a minutes old baby?

I didn't want him to simply go to the doctors without even saying, "Hello," but then again, why would I say, "Hello?"  The little guy doesn't have a clue what's going on.  He's still probably wondering why he left his cozy, warm, even more sterile home.

So I counted his toes and fingers.

Then I panicked that his eyes went in every direction.

Then I worried that his legs made a big O when his feet touched.  (The doctors assured me condescendingly that it would be okay.)

Theo had been taken to N. I. C. U. as we waited for Sol to come out.  An hour and half later he was finally forced out by my lovely wife who could've pushed an aircraft carrier... I'll just stop there since my friends and family might read this.

Where it all happened.

While the labor and deliveries weren't horrible whatever it is that doctors do to put the mother back together caused immense pain to my wife.  It was the one moment I actually thought of something to do.

The doctors had placed Theo and Sol on her chest moments after their birth.  In this case though, while Theo rested in another room, Sol remained under a lamp in the labor and delivery room with us.  I brought Sol back to his mother and laid him on her chest for a second time to soothe her while she writhed in pain.

It was one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen.  There's a magic to being a good mother of which I wish I had.  Despite the pain she was in all she cared about was reassuring her son with affirming and encouraging words.  Her pain subsided.

Those earliest moments reinforced in me that I'm a doer.

I learn best through doing (usually failing, but doing).  I most confidently express love through doing.  I even express my faith most courageously through doing.

That same faith has taught me a great deal about being... simply being still... listening... appreciating... calming down... being quiet... ... ... ... breathing... letting my soul rest.

If there's one thing I've tried to teach and model to a couple of babies that have grown into 18 month olds is how to be.

That probably sounds absurd!  How do you teach a baby to be present?

Needless to say I'm not totally sure but Theo and Sol, if you ever read this, know that I'm trying.

These two guys will grow up in a world that is overworked and overly stressed.  While only 26% of Americans think they work too hard even more of us are not just stressed with our work, we're depressed because of it.  It should be added that pastors and those working for the church are no better and might even be worse!

People are proud to be first AND last out the door even though its proven to help very little in advancing your career.

Over the past 18 months we've had regular times of silence, simply sitting outside with nothing in our hands, watching the leaves sway in the wind.  We leave the TV off as much as possible.  We try our best to eat our meals with you, not before or after you.

We take you on trips, day trips, weekend trips, week long trips, not to entertain you but to display a rhythm of life that values slowing down and enjoying each others company.  At least that's our excuse for not leaving the room very often!

My favorite times with you right now are our Sundays spent first with our church family, then with just the 4 of us and Joey walking along the beach, exploring the sand and whatever other nasty debris has washed up on shore.  We enjoy a quiet meal at the pub and head home refreshed.

First time we ever went out to eat on public, the public house.

Your soul is nourished not simply by the chance to celebrate life and worship with our church family, its also nourished by the fellowship of our family, by the embrace of nature, by the quiet words coming from God that are only heard when we (or you) pause.  That will fill your soul.  That will keep you going.

There are lots of things I hope you learn and grow into.  There are lots of things I'm trying to model for you.

I've written enough.  Others will have to wait until you get older...

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