Why is Your Menu a Russian Novel?

In a most recent count the Cheesecake Factory has over 300 menu items.  Now, if I just counted them all then why did I have to estimate it at over 300?  Because like anyone else, I can't make it through the whole menu.  In all truthfulness I made it to about 100 and then Googled it.  Even then I couldn't get a detailed answer.

There's an old saying in the restaurant business that goes something like this, "lots of options means good at none."  I suppose that's true in life as well.  Jim Thorpe, Bo Jackson, and Deion Sanders were total outliers in the sports world.  Benjamin Franklin and Leonardo da Vinci were remarkably unique in comparison to all of human history.  Most of us are just better off finding one or two things to be great at and simply focusing on those.  

Bo knows lots of things, but Bo don't know what to order.

Which bring us to this.  How can a restaurant that serves "Moroccan Chicken" and "Shepherd's Pie" expect them both to be good?  And how in the world do you expect to get a great "Louisiana Chicken Pasta" if the same staff is whipping up "Beets and Goat Cheese Salad?"  I'm not even sure a Louisianan could identify a beet or knew goats produced cheese.

They claim its all made fresh daily and evidence shows this is true.  But truthfully, on a flavor perspective, that worries me more than if they were simply freeze dried and thawed out in the back.  At least then there's the greater likelihood that someone actually knew what they were doing at some behemoth sweat-shop headquarters, chucked them in Tupperware, and gave you something authentic.

more appetizing than those plastic cartons

Give me three-day old tortas from our Spanish-speaking brothers and sisters at San Carlos FBC before I'll eat your over-priced Baja Chicken Tacos.  Give me the Sweet and Sour Pork from our Chinese co-workers before I'll take your Spicy Cashew Chicken.

So let me get this straight.  You're telling me that you've somehow found a team of cooks, errrrr chefs that are equally incredible at Fried Chicken as they are Pad Thai?  Are you telling me that you've found hundreds of trained kitchen staff who can do great Chicken and Biscuits while also making an excellent steak on a hibachi?  Where in the world are you finding these people?

The funny thing about it is again, your name.  Its the Cheesecake Factory.  Its not the "Pasta Factory" or the "Chicken Factory" or even the "Steak Diane Factory."

We are learning something about selection that less is more.  When people are given too many options they simply shutter and blindly pick one or go to what they've always ordered.  Then again, if they go to what they've always ordered then what's the point of having tons of options.

Heidi Montag once made a song called "More is More."  That's all you need to know

One of the more important, and underrated, aspects of fine dining is being able to get an educated opinion from the waitstaff on a menu item.  At many places, chain joints included, it is customary for the waitstaff to be given samples of all the menu items for this purpose.  At some places they will comp all your meals to entice you to try the menu for yourself as an employee.

But one has to wonder, if I ask the waitstaff, "Would you say the scampi is more on the garlicy side or the creamy side?" or, "Do you think the Miso Salmon will burn my mouth?" will you really get a serious opinion one way or the other?

"Uuuuuum, I'm not sure.  I'll go ask the chef."  In other words you want us to wait here at the table for another 10 minutes while you walk 100 yards across your gargantuan restaurant, dodging tables and runners, interrupt the chef(s) who's trying to pay attention to the food and their staff, then you're going to come back over and tell us the answer?  Nevermind, I'll just order one of the other 299 things on the menu.

Are you burned out from deciding what to do at The Cheesecake Factory?  This might help.  Have a plan.

Things I think about #4:  When ducks have conferences
do they appoint a leader?

Why I blog #3:  Because Twitter doesn't leave enough room
to truly banter on about how much I don't understand things.